Going Home

Holly's Dad passed away early Saturday morning.

http://abclocal.go.com/wtvg/story?section=news/local&id=5931672

I recently read that God places us on earth to do His work and when He is pleased, He calls us home. Please pray for Holly and her family.

SM

Fathers & Daughters

God's reach amazes me everyday. Just a few days ago my sister-n-law shared her heartache as she grieved for so many. This morning I learned that my best friend's father most likely won't live to see the close of today.

There's some unspoken bond between Holly and her Dad, similar to the connection I shared with mine. Often we're not even aware it exists until we realize it doesn't exist for others. It's almost as though we are ingrained in one another, as Father and Daughter. Holly's Dad is one of her best friends. The two were, without a doubt, made from the same mold. There are several elements that make up one's character - some good, some not so good. With Holly, she has taken her father's good qualities and continues to make them great. His work ethic, his drive, his competitiveness and pride. There isn't anyone ever more proud of Holly than her Dad.

It's difficult to put your arms around God's plan. On one hand, when we go home we have every reason to celebrate. On the other, we always wonder what it would be like to have one more day. Holly, hold on to all of the wonderful things your father has given you, for his spirit will always live through you. There's just something special between Fathers & Daughters.

I love you Friendy.

Amazing Grace

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

That sav’d a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found,

Was blind, but now I see.

’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears reliev’d;

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believ’d!

Thro’ many dangers, toils and snares,

I have already come;

’Tis grace has brought me safe thus far,

And grace will lead me home.

The Lord has promis’d good to me,

His word my hope secures;

He will my shield and portion be,

As long as life endures.

Yes, when this flesh and heart shall fail,

And mortal life shall cease;

I shall possess, within the veil,

A life of joy and peace.

The earth shall soon dissolve like snow,

The sun forbear to shine;

But God, who call’d me here below,

Will be forever mine.

John New­ton, Ol­ney Hymns (Lon­don: W. Ol­i­ver, 1779)

Belated . . .

There is one benefit, I suppose, of being the youngest in the family . . . you're always the youngest! That being said, Happy Belated Birthday Spleen (Spleen being my older brother)!

Another benefit of being the youngest in the family is having those before you teach you between right and wrong - sometimes by example and others simply because they don't want you to go through the pains of learning first hand. In either case, us 'babies' are typically at the front end of the learning curve when it comes to parents and proper behavior.

The greatest benefit for me was having such a solid role model. This was not apparent to me as a young girl and especially not as a teenager. It wasn't until I began to make my own way into the world that I realized the awesome example my brother had set for me. You see, Kevin went after everything he wanted and he has always done so with integrity. That's the difference. His work ethic is exhausting, his drive untouchable and his love and pride unending. He's respectful, attentive and appreciates the joy of laughter. Maybe one of the greatest examples Kevin has provided, is the love he has for Missy, which serves as the solid foundation that fuels their love for their children.

It's funny, some days I still feel as though I am a 12-year-old girl waiting to grow up (no comments from the peanut gallery). I spend time with my brother and I find myself constantly looking up to him, seeking guidance without asking - direction that can only be given by the example that is set before me. I suppose, this too, is something that I will always have being the youngest. Thank goodness. I can't thing of anyone else I would rather look up to. I love you Brother!

Happy Birthday Spleen!

Belated . . . coming or being after the customary, useful, or expected time.

B3 Update

A new post has been made in the B3 Challenge. I will be placing a tracker at the bottom of my blog. Please check back to see how the girls are doing!





You go girls!

SM

The Four Levels of Learning

Since creating my blog, I have had the list titled “The Four Levels of Learning”. I would like to take some time to elaborate on this concept. No matter where we are in life, when we learn something new, we all go through these four stages. This ranges from learning how to ride a bike to receiving a promotion at work that results in a brand new set of responsibilities. This can apply to the learning curve of relocation to the introduction of a new board game. Let me further define each stage:

1. Unconscious Inability
We don’t know that we don’t know. Let’s use the example of learning how to ride a bike. At Level 1, we observe others riding a bike and to us it looks simple.

2. Conscious Inability
Here’s the test, we hop on the bike and fall over. We now know we don’t know. It becomes very apparent that we have yet to develop the skills necessary to successfully ride a bike. We must learn how to get started, stay balanced, steer, brake, turn, and stop with grace.

3. Conscious Ability
We now know we can do it, but it takes quite a bit of concentration. We must think every step through. (This would be where the “training wheel phase” takes place.) We must remember to first put up the kick stand, align the pedals with the right pedal up, place our right foot on the pedal, grip the handle bars, straighten the front wheel, push off, get centered, steady the wheel, etc. And then all the steps required to stop safely – this is quite complex.

4. Unconscious Ability
This level of learning is where we no longer think about the process of riding the bike, we just do it. We see it in the yard, grab it and take off! For those adults out there, think about the last time you drove. Did you walk through each step as you loaded up and drove to your destination?

Some other questions to ponder . . .

o Do you have to think through each step of the process when posting a blog?
o The last time you showered or bathed (which we hope was recently) did you think about how to wash your hair?
o Do you remind yourself to buckle your seat belt?
o When you moved into your current housing, was it difficult remembering which dish went in which cabinet? Is it difficult today?

. . . all newly acquired skills go through these four stages of the learning process, some maybe quicker than others.

An important thing to remember, especially as an adult, is every time we enter into a situation when we are learning something for the first time, we are a Level One learner. . . and that’s okay. It’s when we deceive ourselves and attempt to convey we know it all that we get ourselves in trouble.

Here's to Lifelong Learners!

SM

On Charisma II

As written by Paul in his letter to the church in Corinth "Though I am free and belong to no man, I make myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God's law but am under Christ's law), so as to win those not having the law. To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some." ~I Corinthians 9:19-22 (NIV)

Paul's ability to step into the life of another was truly a gift from God, for it was through this gift that he was able to share Christ with so many. Never once did Paul use his charisma to manipulate others for his own benefit. Quite the contrary. Paul was so other-focused he genuinely stepped into the role of the other and naturally operated as they preferred to operate. There was nothing for Paul to gain in this process - he was simply fulfilling his purpose of serving the Lord. It was all about the opportunity for the other to receive the gift of God's love.

It is often said that opposites attract. Maybe so. What's interesting is although we are most drawn to our opposite, we are more comfortable with those who are most like us. God knows. He knows we listen more intently when someone supports our position on those topics closest to our heart. We gravitate toward those individuals who behave like us. Life's experiences are enhanced when we can share with others who have been down a similar road. When we lose a loved one we seek out another who has experienced the same. When we are blessed with children we seek out others who have been blessed to share our story, whether it be the joys and / or trials of childbirth or adoption. God knows. He knows His greatest opportunity to reach you and I is through that of another who's journey resembles ours.

It's the ability to cross over into the life of the other that God has gifted individuals with. It is this gift which we could call charisma. It is this gift that God has so clearly demonstrated through Paul - for nothing more than to convey His love for us. What a wonderful example of good charisma (thanks Spleen)!

The journey continues . . .

SM

On Charisma

I have been engaged in an ongoing discussion with a dear friend of mine regarding the negative connotations surrounding 'charisma'. The question that keeps coming up is how do we move away from the negative qualities that we often associate with charismatic people and highlight those individuals who do wonderful things with their charismatic attributes? Better yet, how do we motivate people to want to become more charismatic? Is charisma really the characteristic we are defining? After much debate, I have spun my head around to look at the situation from a different perspective.

When we discuss charisma, we think in terms of black or white, yes or no. Perhaps charisma, like many things, falls on some sort of continuum or spectrum that allows individuals to move from one level of being charismatic to another. This could also be referred to as different levels of engagement. When we look at the qualities of a charismatic being, the list is exhausting. We must be sure to incorporate not only the personal qualities such as genuineness, compassion, empathy, vulnerability, humility, listening, kindness, generosity, authenticity, integrity, honesty – just to name a few – but we must also incorporate personal and professional credibility as it pertains to appearance, mannerisms, posture, attire, presentation, demeanor, etc. As we bring all of these elements into play, it is overwhelming to think of all the alignment that must take place in order for someone to be completely integrated, engaged, or genuinely charismatic. Therefore, charisma can be defined on one of three levels, depending upon the level of engagement of the individual. It is important to note that regardless of the level of engagement, all charismatic people have one thing in common: magnetism. Others are naturally drawn to these individuals.

Level Three (Politician):
Examples of level three charismatic people are politicians such as John Kennedy, Ronald Reagan, or Bill Clinton. Other examples are often that of televangelists. At this level, charisma can have a negative connotation resulting in a feeling of being played or taken, which is commonly referred to as “The Used Car Salesman”. These individuals are great at stepping into the lives of others, of making others feel as though they are the most important person at that moment in time, but when they walk away something just isn’t right. Additionally, often these individuals exhibit high levels of professionalism. What keeps them at a level three is the intent and/or motive of the behavior. There is often a lack of genuineness, a lack of commitment and others are left feeling manipulated. The lack of trust in the level three individual results in short-term gains for long-term losses, because others sense their limited sincerity.

Level Two (The Good Samaritan):
Strong examples of a level two charismatic person would be Will Rogers, Zig Ziglar or Princess Diana. The level two charismatic person provides the positive connotation of what charisma has the potential to represent for the average individual. It is those people who strive to make a difference and are constantly working to place the needs of others in front of their own. They, too, exhibit the magnetism. The difference though, is that their intentions are genuine versus manipulative. The struggle for the level two is balancing their charismatic strengths under the pressures of everyday life. It is making the conscious decision to step into the shoes of another as Christ would and put everything else aside. It is appreciating the perspective of another for nothing more than that. It is the vulnerability of risking self for the gains of another. The distraction comes when we lack patience and self-promotion becomes the priority. This is what separates the level two individuals from the level one.

Level One (Christ-like):
This individual is fully integrated with the characteristics, behaviors and skills of an altruistic, genuinely charismatic human being. They exhibit this magnetism that conveys humility and compassion. They have truly walked in the shoes of another and only relate their journey because their ability to do so has a positive impact on others. Level one engagement requires individuals to completely set themselves aside, regardless of the time or energy needed to devote to others. One could say, they take short-term losses for long-term gains, but for the level one charismatic person there is no loss. This individual infinitely operates with integrity, vulnerability, humility and authenticity.

Although charismatic people are born with this quality, and not all individuals have charisma, it is fair to say those who do can work to enhance their God-given strengths. Additionally, as we evaluate charisma on a continuum it is important to note that our level of engagement is a matter of choice. We choose whether or not to engage as a level one versus a level three charismatic individual before we step into any given situation. It is our responsibility to take note of our decision and continually strive to become more engaged at the level one end of the spectrum. As difficult as it may seem to be Christ-like, that is exactly what we should be reaching for.

More thoughts to come.

S

B3: Books, Blogs & Bucks

To start off the new year, I challenged my two amazing nieces to the 1st Annual B3 Contest. B3 represents Books, Blogs & Bucks. For each book they read and then post about on their blogs, they earn reward bucks. The goal for 2008 is 10 books. If the girls complete 10, they will earn bonus bucks. The awesome news is they have both completed their first reads and have posted reviews on their blogs. Check out their work through the links listed below "Simple Blogs".

To track their progress, I will post the following B3 Tracker after each new post is made.

Keep up the great work girls!

I Love You Both!

SM

The New Addition

I would like all of you to meet Ms. Mollie Lucia Gellata de la Fortuna (LuLu). LuLu joined our family on New Year's Day and has been quite the addition. She is 2 1/2 years old and spent most of her short life with a wonderful pug breeder. LuLu gave birth to her first litter just over three months ago. It was a very difficult process for her that resulted in a cesarean section and the loss of two of her four puppies. As a result, her previous owners decided to spay her. The good news is she had two beautiful baby girls, was an absolute wonderful mother and is now providing lots of love and laughs to our home.

LuLu's given name is "A Fortune Cookie" and she was called Cookie for short. She doesn't respond to Cookie so we have taken it upon ourselves to call her LuLu. Several other names for her are Sack-of-Potatoes, Chunky Monkey and Little Miss Sunshine, just to name a few.

She is a bit skittish and tends to cower when approached, but we believe this is because she prefers her four-legged friends over the tall (to her) two-legged kind. She is warming up more and more every day! She is absolutely beautiful and we are very excited to have her in our family!

KISS,
S

Dinner With A Perfect Stranger

I recently read "Dinner With A Perfect Stranger" by David Gregory. The book tells the story of a busy businessman who receives an anonymous dinner invitation to Maggiano's, which he reluctantly accepts. Upon arriving at the restaurant, he discovers the invitation was sent by Jesus. The book is simple - the message awakening. What would you do if given the opportunity to dine with Jesus?

Initially, I think I would cry. Just cry. For fear that I had disappointed Him. For fear that I hadn't been the Christian he expected of me.

I would touch Him (probably inappropriate for our first meeting - but I know I would do it nonetheless).

I would ask about Dad. Thank Him for taking Dad's pain away. And of course, ask about the funny things Dad had been up to.

Last (which should be first), I would thank Him. Thank Him for sacrificing for me. For taking the hit so I could sin and be forgiven. Thank Him for doing such great things; for creating such a beautiful work of art in the world around us. Thank Him for the blessings of family and friends. Thank Him for who I am. Most importantly, I would thank Him for loving me.

What would you do if given the chance to dine with Jesus?

KISS,
SM